I came out at the age of 18 I think, maybe 17. We had just moved to Lincolnshire and was having work done on the farm where we lived at the time. had a builder who was living in whilst the work was completed …. (starting to sound a bit saucy isn’t it ) well it ain’t he was an absolute arse a homophobic misogynistic idiot ….
Anyway I spent nearly a week having to listen to this crap and one day he started on saying It’s gay men’s fault there is children dying of HIV well I can’t stand I’ll educated people and couldn’t take any more and i just blew up and had a massive massive row with him now keep in mind that my personality then was vèry quiet non confrontational did not express my opinions and I went with the flow …. to all of a sudden bang was like war the rage and emotion just flew out …. I was so mad I had to go out of the way because I couldn’t control my actions …. in end I sat with my mum and the madness turned to tears … and I had to say because o just couldn’t keep it hidden because deep down it was making me so unwell I was at an age where I needed to find me ….. so I told her I’m gay she was nothing but accepting and has always been in fact it was a bit of a deflation because I was expecting assorts but was like I told her I been to buy some bread n milk lol …. she said she always knew …. and it’s ok …. my family took it well ….
well the ones I was bothered about the others I don’t care anyway ….. lost a few friends or as I now call the acquaintances but that’s ok …… I’ve made 100s more since…. I never got to tell my dad he had early onset Alzheimer and we decided that it would be too much for him ….. I know vaguely he did have struggled he would have been it’s ok but I don’t want to see it …. he had died since and that is one part that often gets me is acceptance from my dad … is something I’d never know …. but I love him and he loved me so that is good enough …… and that’s it not owt too dramatic.
Martin, what advice you’d give to someone contemplating coming out or not, considering your own experience?
My advice is coming out it an individual journey no right or wrong way. You will know when the time is right…. one thing for sure is You are a beautiful person be the best you … love your self and trust that others will love and value you too xx